My Lady, There Are Beasts!

by | Jun 6, 2017 | PUPPY CHRONICLES

The Puppy hightails it out of the kitchen and hunkers down behind me, his ears flat, his tail tucked between his legs. Dog Mom: What did you do? Puppy: (whispers) My Lady… there are BEASTS in there. They’re in the air! They. Can. MOVE. Dog Mom: (looks into...

Meet Mr. Chompus.

by | May 1, 2017 | PUPPY CHRONICLES

Iwalk into the room, and the dog flattens his ears and looks away guiltily, even though I haven’t even said a single solitary thing to him. Dog Mom: What did you do? Puppy: Um… nothin’. Dog Mom: You totally did something. Puppy: Maybe I did, maybe I...

The Force Is Strong With This Puppy.

by | Apr 20, 2017 | PUPPY CHRONICLES

Ipass through the bedroom where the puppy’s big bed is, and see him in his bed… snuggled down on several random pieces of clothing. Dog Mom: You… you robbed the dirty clothes basket? Holy crap! Puppy: (gives me a blank, innocent stare) These are not...

Challenge Accepted.

by | Apr 18, 2017 | PUPPY CHRONICLES

The new neighbors bring over their brand spanking new (less than 24 hours of ownership) seven-week-old gray French Bulldog. (One that cost $6000. I kid you not.) Puppy: ::: with slack-jawed reverence ::: ::: whispers :::: My LADY!! Look! they brought me an...

It’s A Robot, Bane.

by | Apr 13, 2017 | PUPPY CHRONICLES

Iwalk into the living room, and my mind is blown. Puppy is busy trying to hump the Roomba. Dog Mom: WHAT THE… WHAT? Puppy: (actually looks embarrassed) My Lady! Forgive me! I thought you were busy working. Dog Mom: That’s the Roomba. Puppy: I know, My...

Poo-lympics.

by | Apr 7, 2017 | PUPPY CHRONICLES

Scene: Big Puppy and visiting Little Puppy sit outside next to the strip of turf that is the dog run, staring at it. BP: You see, there are rules. LP: Rules? BP: Yes, this is the Poo-lympics, and if you do it right, you get paid for your poop. LP: Paid? BP: Yes....