Iwalk into the living room, and my mind is blown. Puppy is busy trying to hump the Roomba.

Dog Mom: WHAT THE… WHAT?

Puppy: (actually looks embarrassed) My Lady! Forgive me! I thought you were busy working.

Dog Mom: That’s the Roomba.

Puppy: I know, My Lady, isn’t she beautiful!

Dog Mom: IT’S A ROBOT. What on earth were you doing?

Puppy: Well, My Lady, if you don’t know, I’m not going to explain it to you.

Dog Mom: Get off that Roomba. You cannot hump the robots.

Puppy: But!! I love her! She found my ball under the sofa! AND MY STUFFED MONKEY. She is THE BEST. We’re going to make beautiful robot puppies!

Dog Mom: You can’t make puppies with the Roomba.

Puppy: We’re in WUV, TWUE WUV.

Dog Mom: I have got to quit leaving the cable on when I’m not in the room. Look, you cannot make puppies… your boy parts were cut off.

Puppy: GASP!

Dog Mom: You don’t have puppy-making parts left.

Puppy: You will never see your slippers again for as long as I live.